When talking with friends, my husband and I often get strange looks. We will casually bring up “his room” and “my room” in conversation, and it seems to throw off those around us.
“Is everything okay between them?”
“I could never do that with my wife.”
“I wonder what the children think.”
This entire idea came about after I had an utter meltdown about having space. I mentioned that the only space I had that was my own was my car – and even that didn’t really count, since it was filled with carseats and french fries. (It has long since suspected that I fall on the Asperger’s spectrum and this [needing one’s own, separate space] is something quite common.) I made it clear that I want to share space with my husband, but I need my own as well.
We agreed that the best option for us, at least for the time being, was to have separate bedrooms. Most nights, we end up sleeping in the same bed. But having the option of my own space helps me breathe a bit easier. Besides, it’s also nice to be able to kick people out of my room so that I can work or write in peace.
My husband and I have had our own rooms for about three years now, and it has been the absolute best thing we have ever done for us as a couple. He even enjoys having his own space now, too.
Sometimes, all we need is a little space. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and simply frayed, trying giving yourself some space. That may mean space away from what you’re working on – taking a week off! – or some distance between yourself and people around you. Surround yourself with things that bring you peace, and separate yourself (even if only temporarily) from the things that feel “too much.” You don’t need to go to the extreme of having your own bedroom (although I do recommend it….). You’ll be surprised by how even small changes can make the biggest difference.